WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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