grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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