I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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