my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
