He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
