We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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