yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my sisters under your porch take her home
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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