I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
