My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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