he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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