how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
