First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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