Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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