And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
