When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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