You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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