I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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