I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
