my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
