I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
