my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
