youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
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