Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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