i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
