Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
