I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i out mim tonsoeep
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