i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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