Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
