Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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