her vagine was all disorganized.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
