her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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