Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize