were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
