saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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