Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
