i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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