she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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