A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize