If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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