fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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