She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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