so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
