I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
