Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
