I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
