hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
