I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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