Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
