I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
