You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
only if we run a train.
done.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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