u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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