That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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