Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
