She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
