So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
