so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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