Someone shit on the floor
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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