i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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