Everything about him screamed your future.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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