it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
