it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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