Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize