You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
