get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Dick very happy bro
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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