he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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