He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
