If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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