I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
