No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's blow job season.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
