The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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