She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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