Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
